i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
