Can Purell be used as lube?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
you didnt know i had herpes?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
