I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
you win again, gameday.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
