We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
