so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
