he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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