i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
