I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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