ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Randomize
