Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
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