i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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