I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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