It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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