Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
