i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize