i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
