I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
