She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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