my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
is wine microwaveable?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
