i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
