I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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