I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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