Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
