Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
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