It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
my being single is dangerous.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Randomize
