yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
