my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Green mimosas i think yes
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
