Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
