yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
