No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize