If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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