you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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