Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
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