nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
