She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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