i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
