he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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