i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
