Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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