Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
