Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
