I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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