No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
