That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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