No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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