Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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