what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
