Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
