I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
