"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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