I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
accomplished twins. life is a go
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
