she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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