ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
