Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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