Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
