How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
