I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize