i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
