Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
