Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
