paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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