JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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