hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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