And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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