Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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