Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
