Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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