I like my sex mixed with concussions.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I can't turn off my feet"
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
