he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Randomize
